Seven shades (of shit)

All words by Neil Spragg, except Jelly & ice cream pt. 1 by David Thrussell


Everything again, again, again!

I’ve got chewing gum in my hair again
Itchy feet to beat the street again
Are you knocking on the door again?
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Weather turns to pissing rain again
I can’t think or hear or scream again
It’s all I can do to start again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

If you ask me how or why again
I might make you blub and cry again
There’s no need for hissy fits again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Someone’s in the bloody news again
Saying how they’ll save the world again
I don’t think the sun will rise again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Everything again, again, again!

Dog is barking down the road again
Talking heads all making gas again
Never found my special place again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Scrawling bollocks I can shout again
Over-thought and over-done again
Far too many steps to climb again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Other peoples’ boring lives again
Endless tales of shitty wit again
Shakespeare turning in his grave again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!

Shooting strangers in the head again
Toxic warpath to the shops again
Karma looks the other way again
Everything again, again, AGAIN!


Every dog has its day unless there is no day for the dog
It tries so hard but never finds a way to scramble through the trees
Strangled by the never ending rope that tightens round its throat
And it’s a shame that’s no way you should end up if you are a dog

If you run before you walk you might just trip and hurt yourself
Or end up with the path behind you and no sign to show the way
Stop and smell the roses while the garden has some flowers in
You never know when rain falls dark the smelling might not be so good

Sing if you can sing or shout if you can really, really shout
Leap around and make as if you have a clue what it’s about
No-one here gets out alive unless they live life in reverse
And crawl back to the womb if they can find a way that’s not perverse

Jelly and ice cream

Equivocating, prevaricating, fence sitting…not
Postulating, oscillating, undulating…not
Undecided, un-de-cided…

Indeterminate, ambiguous, obscured…not
Ambivalent, evasive, vascillating…not
Undecided, un-de-cided, undecided…Undecided

Postulating, oscillating, undulating…not
Indeterminate, ambiguous, obscured…not
Undecided, un-de-cided……………….not

Timmy is having a party. Everyone is in the garden.

The space spies hide in the bushes. The superheroes hide in the bushes too.

“One, two, three,” counts Timmy. “One, two,” and three superheroes, “One, two, three.”

“I’m a space spy.” says Alan. “I’m a space spy too,” says Paul. “And me!” says Nicky.

“Wow, space spies!” say all the children.

Alan, Paul & Nicky have name badges on their space suits like real astronauts. Timmy never knew their real names before. He thinks that Alan Harwood, Nicky Wojciechowski and Paul Bagley are funny names!

“The space spies win first prize for their costumes!” says The Judge.

It’s time to open the presents.

“Wow! There are lots of boxes.” says Timmy

There was a toy mouse that sang hymns, coloured pencils that squeaked and a bright red jacket with tassels. Timmy loved tassels. At last he came to the final gift, which was very big and felt squishy. He read the tag on the present, it was from The Judge. His name was Phil Cook. Timmy never knew that.

He unwrapped it carefully. It was a huge furry eel that The Judge had bought from the antiques shop down the road. It’s previous owner had stuffed him into the washing machine one day by mistake and in the right light he looked a bit scary, even to Timmy. It smelled a bit funny too, and its eyes pointed the wrong way, but Timmy loved it.

“Can I keep him Mum? Can I? Can I? Can I?” “I’m not sure Timmy,” replied his Mum. “You already have a wooden hamster and three pink fish”

The Judge looked sternly at Timmy’s Mum, and she forgot what she was saying. “Time for a game of hide and seek” she said.

The Judge took all the children in the house, and Timmy went and hid behind the shed. All his friends stayed in the house with The Judge watching strange films, and poor Timmy fell asleep waiting to be found. It turned out to be a very long game. When Timmy woke up he was very hungry. Time for party food!

Everyone ate crisps, jelly, icecream and cherries.

It’s not over until the bearded lady sings 

Too much rhubarb, not enough custard,
Too much hot dog, not enough mustard,
Too much McFly and too much Busted,
This shit should make you all disgusted

Too much oopsie, not enough daisy,
Too much normal, not enough crazy,
Too much of everything making us lazy,
Sense is getting rather hazy

Too much then and not enough now,
Too much zen and not enough POW,
Too much ‘meh’ and not enough WOW,
With all these fools trying to tell us how

Too much face and not enough book,
Too much plan and not enough luck,
Too much blow and too much suck,
And so many who don’t give a fuck

But it’s not over until the bearded lady sings
Every note drawn from that special dusty book she brings
Hidden in plain sight for every one of us to see
As all that is and was shall be, a curious family tree

Too much ying and not enough yang,
Too much pop and not enough bang,
Too much the bearded lady sang,
Step off the chair, it’s time to hang

Too much talk and not enough do,
Too much dumpling and not enough stew,
Too much old and not enough new,
It’s time to take a broader view

Too much paper and not enough weight,
Too much average and not enough great,
Not enough love, far too much hate,
The game is over at this rate

Too much of everything today
Too much, and for it we will pay
Too much for all of us to stay
Get in the rocket ships – AWAY!


I’ll take a mallet to your face if you don’t stop those fucking lies
Words drop like turds into the bowl, but still you think you’re fucking wise
The hate you spread is bought like fizzy pop, so easy and so cheap
In 20 years we’ll see the truth of it, you sow what we shall reap

Another reason to believe, another reason not to doubt
Another reason to dig deep inside your soul and rip it out
An endless stream of vacant flesh, a mindless army soldiers on
Another day is done, and then a year, and then all time is gone


Spark then no spark
Enters room dark
Sound and light creep
In to lake deep

Try to break through
No path for you
Sending signals
Cunt hand struggles

So much inside
Each day time bide
Counting, waiting

Rainbow Dragon Breath 

All the things that don’t exist are falling in over my head
It makes it hard to breathe sometimes when there is mud all in my mouth
A seven-pointed star with voices screaming how the end might come
With rainbow dragon breath and every waking nightmare seen to be

Join the firmament with dust as dust is where we came, and go
Opinion or belief it makes no odds to stars or galaxies
As all give up the rules that bind the light shines through a piercing shaft
And every last truth blown away to leave one core, the here, the now. 

Take your proof and put it over
There is no way I’m buying into
That joke has been done a thousand
Times change, but the path is
Clear truth can be hard to
Find your own and make it
Work like you have never ever
Done deeds good bad who is it can
Say why you think there is
Time left of its own accord


To and fro and up and down and back and forth and come and go
and by and by and by and by and by and by and by and by…

Slided past like slippy eel with gleaming eye and slimy tail
oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why…

There and here and in and out and left and right and far and near
and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round…..

Never stops to show its face just hiding in its secret place
and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down…

Start and end and high and low and push and pull and stop and go

Robbing the Rich 

Every year there’s more to make you shout it
Takes a certain kind of dumb to doubt it
There’s no need for fists though war is near
Only those who should have much to fear

It takes a million or more before there’s anything to show
You’ll never get there on your own the path is dangerous and slow
But maybe one day or the next or maybe some day after that
The power falls and that will be the end of it and that is that

Take your pick from all the fools on offer
They don’t care it’s just more in the coffer
Puppet A says he’s the one to do it
But of course he’s full of shit, you knew it

It takes a million or more before there’s anything to show
You’ll never get there on your own the path is dangerous and slow
But maybe one day or the next or maybe some day after that
The power falls and that will be the end of it and that is that

Time is near, or nearer than before
Each time someone opens up that door
They can feel their tower start to crumble
Now it’s more than just a distant rumble

It takes a million or more before there’s anything to show
You’ll never get there on your own the path is dangerous and slow
But maybe one day or the next or maybe some day after that
The power falls and that will be the end of it and that is that


(And I found a place where there were pigeons, and animals of all kinds, and they were there on the grass – moving – and I saw in their eyes, there was a look of disdain, I didn’t know what to do, so I went around them into the woods, where I found more animals…but these were different…I saw in their eyes, there was a look of acceptance…and I knew…that they would take me with them…)


You’re as ugly as the rest
Couldn’t pass that simple test
Shut your mouth it’s for the best

Brain is dead in every way
TV coma night and day
You don’t know the price you pay

Others suffer, you don’t care
You have no idea of fair
Suck the truth up if you dare

Fuck you and your selfish mind
Evil is as evil find
You’re the one who’s left behind

Ugly is as ugly does as ugly is as ugly does as…